What I offer

Family Mediation
& FDR

A man standing next to a woman in a field
Most families arrive at mediation having already tried, on their own, to sort things out. What they find here is not a judge, not a decision maker, and not someone who will tell them what to do. What they find is a skilled, calm neutral who can help them hear each other, and move forward on their own terms.
Most families arrive at mediation having already tried, on their own, to sort things out. What they find here is not a judge, not a decision maker, and not someone who will tell them what to do. What they find is a skilled, calm neutral who can help them hear each other, and move forward on their own terms.

01

What Is Family Mediation?

Family mediation is a structured, confidential process in which a trained mediator helps parties in dispute reach their own agreements: parenting arrangements, care of children, or any other family matter. It is not arbitration. I do not make decisions for you. You make them together, with my support. The outcome is yours.

Private family mediation can be arranged quickly and at a time that suits both parties. Sessions are via Zoom, in Wellington, or in Hawke's Bay. There are no eligibility criteria and no waiting lists.

02

What Is FDR?

Family Dispute Resolution (FDR) is a specific, government recognised mediation process under the Family Dispute Resolution Act 2013. In most cases, you are required to attempt FDR before you can apply to the Family Court for parenting orders. The Family Court asks for it first.

From 1 July 2025, FDR through the government's contracted provider (Fairway Resolution) is fully funded, free for all eligible families. If you prefer to work with a private mediator for reasons of timing, choice of practitioner, or confidentiality, private FDR is available at the rates on the Fees page. Working privately means you choose your mediator, set your own schedule, and proceed without waiting lists.

FDR covers parenting and care of children disputes. Property and financial matters are handled through separate mediation. See Family Financial Mediation.

"A half day of private mediation typically costs less than a single hour of contested legal proceedings."
Sabrina Barbara

Four-Step Visual Timeline

How It Works

Step 1

Free Zoom call

We talk about your situation, what you are hoping to resolve, and whether mediation is the right fit for you right now. A relaxed conversation with no pressure and no obligation, just a chance to see what might help.

Step 1

Free Zoom call

We talk about your situation, what you are hoping to resolve, and whether mediation is the right fit for you right now. A relaxed conversation with no pressure and no obligation, just a chance to see what might help.

Step 2

Pre-Mediation Individual Sessions (Included)

I meet separately with each party before the joint session. This is where I hear each person fully, check that mediation is safe and appropriate, and help you arrive ready rather than overwhelmed. These sessions are confidential and included in the fee.

Step 2

Pre-Mediation Individual Sessions (Included)

I meet separately with each party before the joint session. This is where I hear each person fully, check that mediation is safe and appropriate, and help you arrive ready rather than overwhelmed. These sessions are confidential and included in the fee.

Step 3

Joint Mediation Session

Both parties meet together, via Zoom, in Wellington, or in Hawke's Bay. I facilitate the conversation, help each person be heard, and support you toward agreements you have actually made. Sessions run a half day or a full day for complex matters.

Step 3

Joint Mediation Session

Both parties meet together, via Zoom, in Wellington, or in Hawke's Bay. I facilitate the conversation, help each person be heard, and support you toward agreements you have actually made. Sessions run a half day or a full day for complex matters.

Step 4

Agreement

Where agreement is reached, I document the outcomes in a Parenting Plan or Mediated Agreement. This can be kept as a private agreement, or taken to the Family Court to become a Parenting Order with full legal enforceability.

Step 4

Agreement

Where agreement is reached, I document the outcomes in a Parenting Plan or Mediated Agreement. This can be kept as a private agreement, or taken to the Family Court to become a Parenting Order with full legal enforceability.

Why Private Mediation Rather Than the Court?

Family Court proceedings are stressful, slow, and costly. More importantly, they are adversarial: they tend to harden positions rather than soften them. A judge decided outcome leaves both parents and children worse off than an agreement they reached themselves.

Private mediation keeps the decision making with you. It is faster, more confidential, more flexible, and significantly less costly than contested court proceedings. Agreements reached through mediation tend to hold, because both parties chose them.

THE PROCESS

What Working Together Looks Like

Who It's For

  • Separated parents who need to reach agreements on parenting arrangements, care schedules, or guardianship matters

  • Parents who want to avoid the Family Court, or who have been directed by the court to attempt FDR first

  • Wider whānau, including grandparents and other family members, who have a role in a child's care

  • Anyone who has reached partial agreement but is stuck on remaining issues

A Note on Safety

Mediation requires both parties to be able to participate safely and effectively. If there are serious safety concerns, including family violence or significant power imbalances, mediation may not be appropriate. We discuss this in the free Zoom call, before anything is arranged.

If you need a child's voice included in the process, see Voice of Child. For property and financial matters, see Family Financial Mediation. If you're newly separated and not sure where to start, see Separation Navigation.