What I offer

Voice of Child

A man standing next to a woman in a field
When parents are in dispute, children are often the ones carrying the most, quietly and without anyone checking in. The Voice of Child process is my way of doing exactly that.
When parents are in dispute, children are often the ones carrying the most, quietly and without anyone checking in. The Voice of Child process is my way of doing exactly that.

01

What I Do

I meet with children and young people individually: not to ask what they want, and not to gather evidence for either parent's position. My role is to understand what is happening for them emotionally right now. What are they carrying? What does this feel like from the inside? How is it showing up in their daily life?

This is not about giving children the burden of a decision. It is about making sure the adults making decisions on their behalf understand their child's actual experience, not their assumption of it.

02

What Happens Next

I bring that picture back to the parents, not as preferences or demands, but as a picture of their child's emotional world. My hope is that it helps both parents shift their focus from the dispute between them to the child in front of them. That shift is often where real movement begins.

A written summary is provided to both parents. This is used as input to the mediation process. It is not a court report for the court, and it does not recommend a particular outcome.

03

My Approach

I work with children and young people aged 6 and up. My background as a counsellor specialising in grief, loss, and family separation means I understand how children experience these processes: emotionally, developmentally, and relationally.

I don't lead. I don't push. I don't ask children to choose between their parents. I create safety, and I listen. Children are not required to say anything they don't want to say. The session is warm, gentle, and completely child led in pace and direction. Participation is always with the child's consent.

04

The Legislative Context

An amendment to the Family Dispute Resolution Act 2013 that came into force on 16 August 2023 requires that children who are the subject of a family dispute are given reasonable opportunities to participate in decisions affecting them. Voice of Child is one of the key ways this is achieved in FDR mediation.

"Behind every dispute about arrangements and assets, there are children watching how the adults around them handle the hardest thing. That is what I keep in the room."
Sabrina Barbara

THE PROCESS

What Working Together Looks Like

what to expect

The Complete Process

The Voice of Child process includes: preparation with both parents, an individual session with the child (or children), synthesis, and a parent feedback session in which I share what I heard. This is a complete process, not a single appointment.

Who It's For

  • Children aged 6 and up whose parents are in mediation or Family Dispute Resolution

  • Families where the parents want the mediation process to be genuinely informed by their child's experience

  • Situations where a child has been caught in the middle of parental conflict and needs a safe, skilled adult to witness what they are carrying

  • Any family where the adults suspect their child is holding more than they are showing

Fee: $850 for the complete process. Additional sibling: $320. See the Fees page.

If your family also needs mediation support, see Family Mediation & FDR. If your child needs individual counselling, see the Counselling Room at TheCounsellingRoom.nz.